But first! We start with a little Fake News and then a report on a splendid day out at a wargame show!
A continuation of the Fake News Bulletins that have not been visited for over 4 years (see index to the right of the page) …. though this one is interlaced with some truth …. how annoying :-).
Having been laying low since late 2019 and now wanted by the authorities across several UK counties for secretly building up stocks of 28mm Napoleonics, while publicly painting up Epic scale, Monty Bartholomew ‘Slackjaw’ Smythe, a one time reporter of extraordinary imagination, needed to make covert contact with several wargaming luminaries, without attracting the attention of the said authorities.
Cautious about using his telephone and now suspecting that his computer had been hacked and switched to auto divert, pushing him to certain 28mm based sites, because that was where all Google searches for ‘tasty gorgeous figures’ were now taking him, he had been resorting to putting coded messages in the Lonely Hearts column of the Gazette.
Professor Rivet of the Dark Art of Modelling Forum and the stout Rusty Rowlocks, with blushes spared, read the column every day, waiting for news from their friend.
Then on a very ordinary Tuesday in mid June, there it was, “Heartbreak Harry seeks Madame Divine for some hot action across the table”, there could be no doubt, Slackjaw was arranging for a meeting for the coming Saturday at St. Helens for the Phalanx Wargame Show!
It was the perfect ruse, where best to hide some wargamers, but in plain sight amongst other wargamers at a wargame show - inspired!
They would each have to buy one of those back packs, as these generally work in cramped public spaces at pissing every other punter off and clears a space of four foot all around you, guaranteeing you will be left alone.
Friday night came, alarm clocks were set and fake shopping lists prepared. They had their cover story ready in case they were stopped and searched by any official. “I’m here to buy some Meroitic Kushite horsemen, would you like me to tell you about their Blemmye Allies”? would be their rehearsed response. It had the known effect of making an interrogator instantly glaze over and in the most severe cases - induce dizziness and vomiting!
The next morning after a car journey that took twice as long as it should have due to Smythe taking counter measures in case he was being tailed, plus of course the obligatory coffee and muffin stop at the halfway point, he arrived as the doors opened at 10 AM.
Smythe, was disguised as an older wargamer with his arse hanging out of his trousers, to help him blend in .… I shall say no more. He had driven up with Mrs. Wargamer, who was intrigued by the shopping list, but not intrigued enough to ask any questions ….. well, especially not after the last time, when the list was then explained in great detail!
Anyway - what a fab show, Smythe got so involved with the shiny stuff that he almost forgot about his mission to meet with the Good Professor and Rusty Rowlocks, the latter, an integral cog in the ‘Let’s Pretend’ movement.
But as he approached the rendezvous point, he saw his two associates being taken into custody by an official who actually knew his Kushites from his Boukellarioi and who was beyond the reaches of any hoodwinking by such charlatans.
As for Smyth, he had not gone totally unnoticed, his mask of anonymity had momentarily slipped, as he was spotted by trader, Marty Trenchfoot, whilst flicking through the pages of a book called ‘When the storage runs out’. These days, Marty is not so good on his feet, but he did manage to get to the door in time to see the departing Smythe getting into his inconspicuous stretch limo.
Once again, Smythe slips the attention of the authorities and manages to add to his stash of goodness - hopefully we won’t hear from him again!
SHOW REPORT
Held in the Sutton Community Leisure Centre in St. Helens (northwest UK), the show is run by the Spartans Wargame Club, occupying the main sports hall as their venue. In a large side room, a very successful Bring ‘n Buy sales area is run by the club officials.
I have been visiting the show every year for as long as I can remember, but it has become very apparent over recent years that some ‘A’ Lister traders are no longer attending, each year we seem to lose someone. This is against a background of the bigger shows, York, Partizan, Hammerhead and Salute growing. I’m sure we are in an evolving situation for both shows and magazines and we just have to hope that both can remain financially viable and relevant to their audience.
Having said that, at the time that I left, I was told that numbers were similar to last year. It did look a tad quieter to me and one regular trader told me that they were having a slow start.
The Bring ‘n Buy is hugely popular and takes on the appearance of a scrum for the first two hours. One just has to hope that monies generated in there are brought back into the trader hall later. This is where I feel the balance of having a fully trader supported show in the future lays.
A bit of a pre-occupation for me at the show this year was back / leg pain. I knew it would limit what I could do and for how long and I had some trepidation before going as most shows do not really give enough seating. I have previously moaned before about the lack of available seating at Wargame shows, just to take that ten minute breather, though at this show there were plenty of seats set around the gaming tables. Whether they were intended for the public or not I don’t know, but I generally found that when I wanted to take 5 minutes out, I could grab one of these - Thank You.
One thing that was very noticeable to me this year was a much better diversity of figure scales used in the games. 28mm is always popular at shows, no doubt because it is a good exhibiting scale for the punters, but here we had a real goodly percentage of smaller scales on the table as well, with a few 15mm, a 10mm and a 6mm game and I really enjoyed those tables.
Very interestingly, the games were heavily orientated to historical subjects, with four of the games being nice napoleonic battles.
The show is very well supported by local (and not so local - thank you) clubs each year and this year was no exception.
I have to say, it turned out that pretty much everything I wanted trader wise, was at this show and I had a good spend, after telling myself that better to support the one show than spreading the jam thin over several shows!
On arrival I had a quick scoot around to see what was what before spending any cash. The four prime things that I had on my shopping list were present, but of course the wargaming temptress found me an easy target …… fools and their money and all that!
In no particular order ….. The Haul;
First up, I had intended on pre-ordering the new Epic Rebellion set (American War of Independence) from Warlord Games, but I wanted to wait and order it from Phalanx, so that the show would ‘get the sales tick’. I pre-phoned them the previous week and they said yes that was fine, I would be in time, because the game was being released the weekend after Phalanx.
So I was taken by surprise to see the game sitting there on their shelves, released today. They kindly recognised my ‘pe-order’ intention and gave me the bonus George Washington figure. This looks to be a lovely box of goodies.
Next up, Coritani, great supporters of the show circuit. From them, I added to my narrow resin waterway sections as I needed a ‘Y’ section and some extra sections to the set that I bought last year. Also some tufts (there are 5 sheets there) and a rather nice pre-painted 15mm gun emplacement, which will look nice with a couple of cannon.
Also great supporters of the show circuit, Pendraken have recently released a range of 10mm MDF city block type kits and I want to do a small city board for my growing 10 / 12mm collection, so these look ideal and more importantly for my fingers ….. an easy build.
Warbases had some flowered tufts at half price and I took two dropper bottle paints from the Fanatic series, these are heavily pigmented. I needed a light grey (all those Confederate uniforms) and a single plate metal to replace all of my other metallics.
Phoenix Games Studio do some dense nice tufts, so I got a pack of them, a refill for my wet palette set and a nice light coloured basing paste for the Roman / Carthage Epics - the one I bought last year was too yellow!
After the Epic AWI figures buy, I needed some support material. Two used Osprey books, one Monmouth Courthouse, the other Guilford Courthouse, were gleaned from Dave Lanchester’s fantastic stock and I also picked up the Rebels & Patriots Osprey rules from Christopher Morris Books. The latter I unfortunately threw away last year in the ‘Great Rules Purge’! …… don’t say I told you so!
This little bundle were surprise buys. First, the Geek Villain fleece mat sold by Bow & Blade Games. I thought it was just farmland, but now having opened it up, it has roads, a river and a bridge. I really only wanted an anonymous countryside mat, but looking at it, it is very much growing on me. This is my second mat of theirs and I can understand why people collect these. The obligatory 5 Pro-Art brushes from the very friendly ABC Brushes keeps me stocked up with fine brush points and a small collection of useful tents, walls and cows! picked up on a second passing of Pendraken.
So, all told, I rather feel that this year, I have filled my wellies! Mrs. Wargamer is obviously hugely impressed with the haul. I think secretly, she wishes she was a wargamer!
And now for some games; (click for a slide show)
Above - Saving Private Ryan in 28mm from Beacon Gaming.
Above - 7TV game, Lurkers of the Deep by Spartan Wargame Club (show hosts).
Above - Arsuf (Crusades) Participation game with Lion Rampant based rules by Lance & Longbow Society.
Above - 9 Years War 1593 - 1603 from Tiger Miniatures
Above - very gorgeous! Part of the Bannockburn table with 54mm figures by the Independent Wargamers.
Above - Seige of Bastogne 1944 by James Mitchell and Bren Dolan. This is a 6mm game that sits in the frame of a re-configured pasting table. They may have been using Eisenhower rules. Last year, they did a lovely napoleonic game in the same format.
Above - Liverpool Wargaming Association excelled this year with a number of tables to support the show. Here we have Pavia 1525
Above - Magnificent 7 by The Pit Gaming Shop.
Above - Cold War Gone Hot - Oldham wargames
Above - Mark’s Game - The Spartans Club, Rolica 1808 in 10mm. I saw a ruleset on the table called Napoleonic War of 5 Nations.
Above - Mailed Fist Wargames Club, Napoleonic 15mm
Above - Cheshire & Staffordshire Wargamers - Dead Mans Hand.
Above - 15mm Sassanid and Byzantine by East Lancashire Wargames Association. They also had a good turn out, putting on three games.
Above - Burma from East Lancashire Wargames Association. I think this was a Lardy Chain of Command game, one of their ‘pint sized’ scenarios.
Above - Bolt Action Africa by The Copper Sapper Company
Above - Halifax Wargames Club, a 15mm Fuentes de Oñoro 1810 game using Empire Bataille rules. The club favours the rules and ran a Waterloo game here last year
Above - 28mm AWI computer moderated game by Old Guard Wargamers.
Above - Another game by the Liverpool Wargames Association, this one d’Erlon’s attack on the left (1815). There are two lovely farmhouse models on the table and the ridge. The bases look to be 100mm and I am wondering whether this is a DBA derivative, live their 1066 game of some years ago,
Above - Liverpool Wargaming Association. I think this was just set up as a display, advertising the club.
Above - Wakefield & District Wargames, a Cruel Seas game, with lovely models. This may be 1/700.
As always, a lovely show. I think that I enjoyed this more than last year. Thanks to all the traders and to the gamers who put on tables and gave their time so that I could have a splendid day and thanks to the organisers who make this all work and to you, dear reader, who puts up with the occasional ‘Slackjaw’ nonsense of Fake News and some pretty long winded posts along the way!
Resource Section.
My sister webspace ‘COMMANDERS’ showcase the various figure and boardgame systems that I am enjoying and gives a flavour of where current projects are up to. Link.
